THE PEOPLE BEHIND PSYCHING LIFE
About us.
Two psychologists. Six kids. One real life.
We know the theory. Living it is another story.
We are two licensed psychologists with more than four decades of combined clinical practice, building a life together while trying to practice what we preach. We understand emotions, relationships, and human behavior. We also feel things strongly, get defensive, and sometimes need a very long conversation to get back to each other.
You’d think we would have a head start. We have the language and the intentions. Following through when we’re hurt, protective, or exhausted is the ongoing work. Sometimes we’re sort of faking it till we make it.
Our story
We met at a time when we were both questioning a lot of our own life decisions. We were divorced, with children from our earlier relationships, and finding each other brought a powerful connection and renewed hope for the future. We wanted to believe that feeling would carry us through the complicated parts.
Then came the everyday reality of bringing our lives together. “Blending” sounds so smooth. Six kids, two parents, separate histories, and different expectations rarely feel that seamless. Some of what we hoped would happen naturally needed much more honesty and conversation than we expected.
Our . They helped us appreciate what we had found in each other. They also made it easier to imagine a version of family life that didn’t always fit the people actually living it.
One of our recurring struggles is feeling disconnected or outside each other’s lives, even when we’re right there together. A conversation about a plan can bring up something much bigger: Do you see me in this? Are we making this decision together? Do I have a place here?
As our kids get older, parenting demands and our roles keep shifting. We’re trying to make space for our kids, our relationship, our work, and ourselves. We’re not necessarily winning in every realm. We’re still showing up and trying again.
We know better. We do it anyway.
We have six kids, full workdays, and a life that rarely pauses long enough for us to give it a thoughtful clinical formulation.
We know about listening without preparing a defense. We understand the value of slowing down, naming a feeling, and asking what the other person meant. We could explain those ideas quite calmly. Following them when we are the ones who feel hurt? Apparently that is a different course.
Our very ordinary version is this: we can spend a long conversation explaining ourselves and still forget to make enough room to hear each other. We know listening matters. We are also extremely interested in finishing our point.
Knowing what to do and actually doing it are two different things.
We have become defensive. We have tried to explain harder when we wanted to feel understood. Sometimes talking it through has helped us find each other again. Sometimes we have had to come back to the same thing. Knowing the vocabulary has not made us immune to any of it.
That gap is where Psyching Life begins. We’re trying to notice when we get caught in our own stories, make room for the uncomfortable parts, and choose how we want to show up. The longer explanation lives in . Our version of practicing it belongs in the next ordinary conversation.
Why we write
We started this blog because talking through our experiences might help us stay connected and might mean something to someone else living a similarly complicated life. We wanted somewhere to write honestly about the advice we understand and the work of actually living it.
This is an ongoing story. We’re writing while we’re in it, and we don’t know how every chapter will turn out. We want to share what happens, where we get stuck, and what helps us move toward the people, parents, and partners we want to be.
Some chapters will be uncomfortable. Some will be funny because we are fairly good material. We can be a little funny about ourselves without turning the people around us into punchlines. We can keep trying without giving a difficult conversation a neat ending it hasn’t earned.
FROM THE TWO OF US
Our first conversation: Why Psyching Life
Our first recording together is about why we started Psyching Life, the life behind the writing, and knowing what helps while still getting caught in our own reactions.
The YouTube player loads when you press play. Watch on YouTube.
More conversations about our experiences, what helps, and what we’re still learning are coming.
How the story, the “psych,” and the practice fit together
- The story: our journal entries, drawn from the moments we get caught in and the conversations we come back to.
- The “psych”: the patterns behind those experiences, explained in ordinary language in The Psych.
- The practice: something small to try, with resources and finds that fit the parts of life we write about.
We also want room for the ordinary good stuff. A game with the kids, family dinner, a birthday tradition, or a little time together are part of the story too. Connection needs somewhere to happen.
Why we write anonymously
We stay anonymous to protect our clients and our kids, and to give ourselves room to reflect honestly. We share our own reactions, with names and identifying details kept private. We do not share client material, diagnose each other, or analyze our children on the page. Our children’s experiences belong to them.
We do not speak for each other’s private thoughts or manufacture a second perspective to make a chapter feel complete. When we explain research, we link to the sources that support it.
Why “Psyching Life”?
Psych: the psychology we know, explained in ordinary language.
Psyching ourselves up: the trying, practicing, and getting back up.
Psyched out: the moments when we know better and it falls apart anyway.
All three fit.
STILL PRACTICING
One cue. One smaller response.
We want to notice the moment we start preparing a defense. Our small plan: when we notice that urge, we try asking one question before giving the next explanation. One question is a more realistic place to begin than a promise to communicate perfectly.
We keep recognizing the gap. Closing it is still the assignment.
This is general education and our own experience, not therapy or medical advice. Reading does not create a professional or therapeutic relationship. Read our site notes.