Two psychologists.
Six kids.
Plenty of trial and error.

You’d think two psychologists would have a head start on building a life together. We know the theory. We understand emotions, relationships, and human behavior. We are also two people who feel things strongly and sometimes have a very hard time taking our own advice.

Knowing what to do and actually doing it are two different things.

That’s where Psyching Life begins. We’re trying to practice what we preach, and sometimes we’re sort of faking it till we make it. We have the language and the intentions. Following through when we’re hurt, defensive, or exhausted is the ongoing work.

The life we thought we were building

We met after both questioning a lot of our own life decisions. We were divorced, with three kids each, and finding each other brought a powerful connection and renewed hope for the future. We wanted to believe that feeling would carry us through the complicated parts.

Then came the everyday reality of bringing our lives together. “Blending” sounds so smooth. Six kids, two parents, separate histories, and different expectations rarely feel that seamless. Some of what we hoped would happen naturally needed a lot more honesty and conversation than we expected.

Our first post was about those rose-colored glasses. They helped us appreciate what we had found in each other. They also made it easier to imagine a version of family life that didn’t always fit the people actually living it.

Right there, and still feeling left out

One of our hardest recurring struggles is feeling disconnected or outside each other’s lives, even when we’re right there together. A conversation about a plan can bring up something much bigger: Do you see me in this? Are we making this decision together? Do I have a place here?

Being the parent and being the parent’s partner are different positions. We can understand that intellectually and still find it painful when one of us feels like an insider and the other feels left out. As the kids get older, those roles and expectations keep shifting.

We often need to talk these moments through extensively. It takes work to explain what hurt without lashing out, and to hear the other person without immediately protecting ourselves. Understanding why we get defensive doesn’t magically stop us from doing it.

What makes this an unfinished story

We started this blog because talking through our experiences might help us stay connected and might mean something to someone else living a similarly complicated life. We’re writing while we’re in it. We don’t know how every chapter will turn out.

Some themes keep coming back: expectations, belonging, parenting demands, making room for our relationship, and remembering what we appreciate about each other. We want to share what happens, where we get stuck, and what helps us move toward the people and partners we want to be.

We also want room for the ordinary good stuff. Family events, a game day, a little time together, and the things that make a full household easier to manage are part of this story too. Connection needs somewhere to happen.

A little less planning. A little more time together.

The downloads are practical companions to the story: a family reset, a menu of things to do as a couple, or a pack to bring people into game day. Use what fits your life, change what doesn’t, and leave room for the plan to go sideways.

We’re trying to make space for our kids, our relationship, our work, and ourselves. We’re not necessarily winning in every realm. We’re still showing up and trying again.

Sharing thoughtfully

We share our own perspectives while protecting the privacy of our family, friends, and clients. Some details stay offline. Our children’s personal experiences are theirs to share.